


Corazón Cenicero

by TheSoopreme



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, with a happy ending?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-02 05:50:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18805003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSoopreme/pseuds/TheSoopreme
Summary: Erwin had uttered those three dreaded words. The ones he pretended he didn’t see every time he looked into Erwin’s eyes as the blond looked at him with the small smile Levi noticed was only ever aimed at him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Placebo’s Ashtray Heart.  
> With the recent episode and what we all know is to come, here’s me breaking my own heart all over again.  
> This will stay as a one-shot but I’m thinking of adding more because why would I leave these two to suffer like this?  
> Again I am no writer, I just need an outlet for what I feel for these two.  
> Thank you for reading!

_You were alone before we met_

_No more forlorn than one could get_  
_How could we know we had found treasure?_  
_How sinister and how correct_

 

 

 

.....

 

 

 

Sitting up, he reaches toward the bedside table for his cigarettes. He places one in his mouth and goes over what just happened. Erwin had uttered those three dreaded words. The ones he pretended he didn’t see every time he looked into Erwin’s eyes as the blond looked at him with the small smile Levi noticed was only ever aimed at him. The one where his eyes go all soft and the barely there wrinkles form around his eyes as the rest of his face relaxes.

 

With a huff he reaches for the lighter and stands to walk over to the window. Erwin doesn’t like the lingering smell of cigarettes in his room. Opening it wide, he leans against the frame and thinks about the shit he got himself into as he takes a drag.

 

They had agreed it was all just fun. Levi just wanted to get into the tall blond’s pants and Erwin had agreed to a casual fuck. Sure, one fuck became a couple which then became fucking on the regular. Levi hates the term fuck buddies because he isn’t interested in being “buddies” with anyone he’s interested in only fucking. Granted, Erwin was actually a decent conversationalist and could keep up with Levi’s personality and sense of humor. But they weren’t “buddies”. He wouldn’t even consider them to be friends. Hell, Levi doesn’t even have blondie’s number saved. The only reason he knows it’s Erwin texting for a midnight fuck is because that’s all their conversation history includes. They were acquaintances who slept with each other at best.

 

But goddammit. Levi wants to think he didn’t see it coming but who’s he kidding? Erwin started to want to sit and talk before they got to fucking and even started to try to get them to sit and watch a movie. But he knows there was nothing at all on his side to suggest he wanted more. 

 

Did Erwin even realize he said them? It had happened while Erwin fucked him into the mattress, head bent, forehead at the crook of his shoulder. They were both so close and Levi almost missed those three whispered words as Erwin had thrust _hard_ one last time and Levi’s body seized almost painfully and his vision turned white. Nothing had been said as they both tried to catch their breath and Levi didn’t have time to dwell as Erwin had immediately captured his lips into a kiss that he felt down to his toes. Teeth bruising and the feeling he was being devoured.

 

He looks over to where Erwin is laying, one arm bent over his head, mouth slightly open as he lightly snores. The guy had passed out immediately after their second round and didn’t even give Levi a chance to ask about what the fuck that had been.

 

 _Shit_.

 

He flicks the remainder of his cigarette out the window and starts looking for his clothes. He needs to leave before Erwin wakes up. It was fun while it lasted and he just _knows_  he’ll never meet a guy like Erwin Smith ever again. But he can’t stay and tell the blond he isn’t interested in what he’s offering because he’s a coward like that and doesn’t want to deal with the aftermath of a face to face rejection. Levi knows it’s a cowardly move but there’s no stopping him now that he’s had his mind made. Finally slipping on his shoes, he heads toward the bedroom door and carefully opens it enough so it doesn’t squeak.

 

With one last glance, he admires Erwin’s sleeping form with help from the moonlight filtering in through the window as it enhances the features that first caught his eye.

 

Without another thought, he slips quietly out the door and doesn’t look back.


	2. Chapter 2

The mid-summer sun filters through the window causing his skin to heat up uncomfortably.  _ Must’ve left the darned blinds up, _ he sleepily muses. With a groan, he turns over and slowly tries to wake himself up. Hand thrown over his eyes, he blindly reaches for his phone, hoping he’s left it on the bedside table. A quick glance tells him it’s only just 7am. Gathering his thoughts, he realizes it’s Saturday morning and doesn’t have to worry about work and can take his time.

 

_ Wait. It’s Saturday morning _ , he thinks. 

 

Scrambling to sit up, he realizes he’s alone. No Levi, his side of the bed has long gone cold. He doesn’t know why he always gets his hopes up, Levi never stays ‘til morning. But last night… last night had been different. He said it. He said out loud what he’s been keeping close to his chest for far too long. Why he was hoping for some kind of reaction he doesn’t know. It’s ridiculous really, how he tried to convey everything he feels into every touch, every kiss and every caress to Levi’s skin. Knowing full well the other might not notice or as Erwin knew was more likely, not even care. But in the end it was too much. It was too much and the words he tried so hard to deny at first quietly slipped through his lips. And it had hurt when Levi had shown no reaction to his words. He’s not even sure Levi heard him. They  _ were _ in the middle of quite an intense moment at that time.

 

His relationship with Levi can’t even be classified as a relationship really. They know each other but only in the bedroom. They know what buttons to push to get the other to brink of orgasm but they don’t even know the other’s last name now that he thinks about it. At least Erwin doesn’t. He guesses he’s never told Levi about himself either.

 

But in between the casual sex and the slightly awkward attempts at conversations, he’s fallen for the one guy he has no business falling for. There had always been something about the small man that drew him in. It had been physical attraction at first, of course. But little things about Levi came to capture his attention. Like the way he tried not to smile at Erwin’s attempts at jokes. The way his eyes would give nothing away but that small tilt at the corner of his lips would say otherwise. How, although blunt and to the point, he wouldn’t go out of his way to be rude no matter how cold and guarded he tried to keep himself. There was always a small token of affection in his actions. The very little time they actually spent interacting, Erwin ate up every little detail about Levi he could take in. He’s always been an observer, and Levi had made a gorgeous subject that slowly became more than just someone to admire physically.

 

They agreed to keep it casual. Erwin knows that. He knows Levi never made any move to take things further. He knows Levi maybe heard him say those three words. He knows it’s more than likely unrequited. He  _ knows _ this. What he doesn’t know is how he got to here.

 

The first time he ever laid eyes on him, he fell in lust. Levi had been standing at the bar of some shoddy club Mike had dragged him to. Clubs weren’t usually his scene but every once in a while, when business deals and meetings start wearing him down, Mike makes sure to get him shitfaced so he can forget about the large amounts of paperwork waiting for him every morning. This time though, he sent Mike a mental little thanks because standing in front of him was a man so gorgeous, not even Erwin’s wet dreams could make him up. 

 

Tight black jeans encased lithe yet muscular legs. He couldn’t see his backside but he could bet his childhood set of miniature war machines that he also had an ass to match those legs. A tapered waist was encased in a basic black v-neck that hinted at an equally muscular chest and collarbones that made Erwin’s dick twitch. He had never been as enraptured by someone as he was by Levi the moment he first saw him. Levi had luckily given a quick glance to the side as Erwin was waiting for his drink and they had locked eyes. The dark lighting and colored strobe lights did nothing to hide the look Levi had given him. Erwin could feel more than see his gaze take in his entire form, slow and admiring. He had been slightly flustered at the very obvious heated look on Levi's face as he finished undressing Erwin with his eyes.

 

Needless to say, that meeting ended up in the agreement they had going on.

 

Erwin doesn’t expect a note or text telling him Levi’s gone but it still stings to know he left. He resigns himself to another morning alone and mentally pushes the issue to the back of his thoughts. He’ll open that can of worms when he sees Levi next.

 

With a small groan, he get up and starts his day. He’s in the middle of his trying to decide whether he should finish the leftover chinese from yesterday’s lunch or actually fix himself a nice, wholesome breakfast when he hears his phone ping.

 

Walking over to where he left it in the living room, he quickly glances at the screen.

 

_ Unread message from Levi. _

 

They never really contact each other the day after their… meetups so this catches Erwin off guard. He opens the message, reads it and immediately feels his stomach drop to the floor. So unexpected are the words, he has to read the message over and over again. 

 

LEVI 8:58 a.m.

_ Hey, it’s been nice but I think we can both agree this is no longer going to work. _

 

So he  _ had _ heard his confession. And now Erwin has ruined any chance to ever even be near Levi. What was he thinking? He knows Levi never wanted anything from this…  _ thing  _ they have other than mutual physical satisfaction. 

 

He should have been satisfied with what he already had. Even if they were just short moments of pleasure where he could hold Levi and pretend he was okay with no real intimacy. And now he doesn’t even have that. It’s over. Everything. He knows nothing about Levi except his name and number. Hell, he might not even have that after this.

 

He doesn’t want to wallow in regret and self pity because… there’s really nothing to mourn. They had nothing. But Erwin still feels  _ everything _ . He thinks of all the crevices Levi has wormed his way into in his head and, Erwin gives a self-deprecating chuckle as he thinks this, his heart. Those eyes, they’ll haunt him every day. How, although seemingly aloof and uncaring, he came to learn how to read him. The way his silky, ink black hair felt as he ran his fingers through it. The way his breath hitched as he tugged it. The sounds he made as Erwin worshiped every possible surface of his skin. Every little thing about him Erwin is sure he will never forget.

 

And he doesn’t want to. Should he try to talk to him? He really doesn’t even know what he would say.  _ Hi Levi, I know you don’t care but I love you and I want you in my life _ would send Levi packing and sure to make it so they never cross paths. But he  _ has  _ to try. He desperately wants to try. If only so this doesn’t become something he will come to regret.

 

With a deep breath and shaking fingers, he starts the call he hopes will not be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to leave this little drabble with such heartache so their story is going to continue. Thank you so much to those who have read thus far!


End file.
